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if there is something to desire

Not sheep coming down the hills,
not cracks on the ceiling–
count the ones you loved,
the former tenants of dreams
who would keep you awake,
once meant the world to you,
rocked you in their arms,
those who loved you …
You will fall asleep, by dawn, in tears.

-Vera Pavlova, “A Remedy for Insomnia”

upon reading this, my gut fell to my ankle. such beautiful woe.